Last weekend was a busy one for sure. We had a million
little things to do, but were able to wrap them up into one very constructive
and eventful two days.
Saturday I kicked off the weekend going to my favorite
place: the dump.*insert extreme sarcasm here* You see, where we live, the dump
is like a redneck fest: let’s see who can bring the most tricked out redneck
rides with the most trash with the loudest music and nastiest looking bitches
with them. Seriously, half the time I think it’s some old South reunion that I
missed the boat on. There was one guy that had tires that put his truck so high
I could almost easily see the undercarriage for his truck when parked next to
him.
You always have the usual trashies, the ones that love the guys that work at
the dump (who are all nice guys by the way) but just love standing there in the
filth and smell as if it wasn’t there. It takes a special breed to be like
that, let me tell you.
After the dump, the girl and I hit TJMaxx. Highly underrated
store. Place has tons of brand name stuff for low prices. Growing up I thought
that place was where old people went, but there is a ton of good shit in there.
I saw a portable set of speakers for an iPod Video on the cheap so I snagged it
for Kraig. Even though I don’t have a video, I knew he had one and we’ve always
said how the iPods should come with speakers built in so I figured he’d like
them.
I had Aaron’s camcorder that he needed so he could scout a
couple teams and film so the girl and I ventured out to his place to drop it
off. Flack was there, along with his little protégé Cowboy, both ready to cut
down trees with their hands and flip cars.
*Side Note: Aaron is my coach, and he does these training
sessions with anyone that wants to do them. They’re similar to what the Worlds
Strongest Men do in competition, like flipping huge tractor tires, pulling
massive chains, and running up a hill with a 3 second head start with a Grizzly
Bear chasing you. We did a few of these crazy things in the first few practices
this season.*
Flack and Cowboy just finished their warm up run through the woods…not sure
what else they were planning on doing, but the girl and I had too many things
to do to partake in such Medieval activities.
One errand was getting lunch. We hit a place close to James’
parents house called G&P Pizza. Good little Greek place. They have these
huge TVs on the wall along with these mini tableside consoles where you can
play real time trivia against everyone in the place. It kinda sucks though when
the place is dead like it was and you are playing against yourself…and you
still continue to suck. Some of the trivia was about TV characters from the
60s, stuff I had no fucking chance at getting, so I didn’t feel too bad.
We headed up to Hookett after to go to Legends, which has
mini-golf, a driving range, and batting cages. We were there for the batting
cages, always a good time when you step into a cage and you actually pay to
have balls shot at you in the excess of 80 mph. If they were always pitched to
the same spot I’d be fine with it, but one of these days I’ll take a shot to
the nuts and it will be lights out for me for a long ass time.
The girl took her hacks in the softball cage and once she
got over the ball she was ripping hits left and right. I was in the cage next
to her that had both softball and baseball, and being the macho man I am
figured the baseball setting would be fine for me, since it afterall was
connected to a machine that lobbed softballs.
Wrong. Dead fucking wrong.
It was like Nolan Ryan was reborn into a mechanical fast
pitch baseball arm. This thing was throwing some serious fucking heat. After
the first pitch I knew I was screwed. I made contact most of the time and
actually drove a few balls out of the infield, but a few times the ball just
exploded into the handle and made my hands numb. I felt like a little kid all
over again. After that, I had enough and cranked the softball one up and took
out my frustrations from Nolan Ryan on the giant grapefruit sized balls.
Meanwhile, the Niff was showing the softballs who was boss.
She’d make a great first basewoman in some softball league. She can catch, she
can hit, and she doesn’t even throw like a girl! Who would have thought!
To reward our efforts in the field of play we went to a
small ice cream place near where we used to live and each got a cone and
enjoyed the sun. We hit a small park near there and just laid on a blanket and
relaxed for a bit before tossing the baseball around for a bit before hitting
Target.
Target is always an experience. There isn’t one within 10
minutes of where we live, but there is one 20 minutes north and 20 minutes
south of us, so when we hit Target, we
hit Target. I can never walk out of there without spending at least $50,
the same way I can’t walk out of Sam’s Club without spending at least $120. Not
sure what it is about the place, but it brings out the impulse buyer in me like
no other place.
After Target the girl gave me a haircut. She got the
clippers out and went short, like really
short, but I love it. Low maintenance, I think it looks good and she loves it
so what else do I need? The cats seemed to enjoy watching all my hair get
shaved off. Maybe they need a haircut…hmmmm…
Sunday, the girl and I met James and Megan at The Yard for
brunch. It’s a solid brunch with all of your normal breakfast fixin’s plus
stuff like lasagna, Swedish meatballs, hot wings, stuffed mushrooms, ham hash,
French toast and pancakes, a full carving station with a ham, turkey, and roast
beef, not to mention the giant dessert table that features at least a dozen
kinds of cakes, including 3 types of cheesecake and puddings and stuff.
Now, when you go to these types of eateries, you know the
average customer is going to be fairly large. Rule number 1 is never eat while
in line, and Rule number 2 is don’t make faces at what other people have on
their plates. It’s just fucking rude, and if I want to eat $12 worth of
watermelon or cheese and crackers, I will mother fucker. It leaves more of the
other food for you fattie so sit back, relax, and pound away at your gut.
So we’re sitting there at our table, which is right next to the buffet line, and this
huge ass woman looks over my shoulder while
I am sitting at my table and makes some noises like she is shocked that
someone:
a.)had that much food on their plate
b.)had too little food on their plate
c.)was eating copious amounts of cheese and crackers (think cheese as in e Port Wine variety, or close)
d.)was simply enjoying the variety of the buffet
e.)All of the Above
I might be big boned, but I have a heart lady, a fairly
healthy one at that. I can’t stand people that judge people, especially of all
places a fucking buffet! I am probably one of the smaller people to eat at a
buffet, so I don’t know what her problem was (besides the obvious).
After brunch we hit the mall for a bit, hanging in Best Buy
for most of the time we were there. As we were walking in a little chipmunk
dashed into the store causing mass havoc. Some stupid redneck NASCAR douche bag
tried stomping on him (the NASCAR race was going on here in New Hampshire later
that day). I think I would have pulled a flat panel off the wall and bashed her
in the face if she actually succeeded in killing him. He eventually was
escorted out of the building via a friendly trashcan.
With all the excitement the mall had to offer I was ready
for a nap, so we headed home and I did just that. I took a two hour nap before practice
to recharge the old batteries. As I was about to wake up the girl finally
drifted off. We were like damn zombies as I was getting ready for practice. She
told me later she fell back asleep after I left and the brunch just sucked the
energy out of her. I had sympathy, as that’s how I fee after practice every
week.
It was a busy weekend, a productive one at that. This
weekend is already filled with plans to the brim. Tomorrow morning, Steve,
Kraig, James, and I are hitting the movies early to see The Transformers. Saturday
afternoon the girl and I are hitting my grandparent’s party at the lake for
Nana’s 75th birthday and Papa’s 80th. They’re both over
155 years old combined and are still kicking ass and taking names. I hope I’m
as badass as they are when I’m their age. Sunday we have my scrimmage against
Will and Lowell. That should be interesting to say the least.
