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I am consistently kicked when I am down. Damn Red Sox online ticketing crap.
AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES - TICKET OPPORTUNITY
Thank you for registering for a chance to purchase tickets for potential Red Sox postseason game at Fenway Park. Unfortunately your entry was not selected for our online ALCS sale but should World Series tickets be made available, you are automatically eligible for that random drawing. Details on any World Series ticket sale will be announced at a later date.
Not.At.All.Shocking.
I've won the chance to buy New Hampshire Day Tickets. Wow. Awesome. Thanks.
Playoff tickets? Hahaha. Not to the loser that lives in New Hampshire. Maybe next year, Dan.
After having to drive almost 3 ½ hours last week to one of my football games out in the Berkshires in Mass. and another 3 ½ hours home, it was quickly lost on me why the fuck anyone would ever want to drive to the middle of nowhere, up a mountain and back down, and be totally cut off from civilization, even if you are doing it to getaway for the weekend. No sooner did I forget how shitty that drive was did I see this random ad popup on the Boston Globe's site.
Are you kidding me? On the way out there I saw an Indian (excuse me, Native American) riding a moose and multiple signs that said "BEAR CROSSING". I would not have been shocked in the slightest had I seen a dragon fighting a knight or even the infamous Bear Cavalry.
I'm a big Fair guy. Love them. Sights, sounds, smells, food, atmosphere. Cute farm animals that always make me contemplate giving up meat until I get home and am reminded I have 20 lbs. of meat in the freezer and I'll "give it up once I finish all this meat off...".
Yeah, that never happens.
The Fairs in New Hampshire are a tad tame. Some of them are crazy old like this weekend's Deerfield Fair. To get in you pay something like $10 and you can touch all the animals you want and browse the art and 4H club stuff you want. The food is overpriced but it's fair food, right? How often can you get a cowboy hat full of cheese fries or deep fried Oreos and Twinkies? Not very often.
The rides are priced out in the form of tickets, only there are no rides really worth the tickets unless you are a teenie-bopper and feel like puking after.
Side Note: I used to be the king of crazy rides. The faster it spun, the higher it went, the more insane it looked, I was on it, over and over and over again. Until one day. It's like I "got old" all of a sudden and my insides hated me after. I've never puked on a ride before but that day I thought I was going to lose it. The same thing happened to the Niff. Since that fateful day, we've tried various rides at parks and fairs and the end result is close to the same. Sadness.
Again, New Hampshire fairs are a bit tame, but if they had this ride I would so do it. If I had a partner that I trusted. Ok, so I guess I wouldn't do it because when a bull is running at you full bore, how many people can you really trust?
Let me go through my inner circle:
Steve - I think he'd be too afraid of the bull to try it. Maybe though, he has an adventurous streak. Knowing bodily harm is so close I think he would opt to just watch people get effed up.
Flack - he would definitely do it, but I wouldn't put it past him to drop me on purpose.
The Niff - I would trust her, but wouldn't want her to do it in case I fell off. She'd freak out.
Jessie - I would trust her to not drop me on purpose but I can see an Oops moment on her part, which would result in the crushing of my head.
Mark - I would trust Mark. For sure. But. Mark would probably be laughing so hard as we both get so close to getting fucked up that he would probably fall off inadvertently, sending me to the ground and then both of us getting fucked up.
James - James wouldn't drop me on purpose. We've taken part in enough sports together over the years I find it hard to believe either of us would get messed up.
Kraig - there is no way he would even think about trying this. Ever.
I know I would be trustworthy. In the event I fell off/got knocked off I would need my partner to be able to run super fast. I'd feel bad if they got slammed and pounded as a result of me.
Damn, two days, two posts about taking on wild animals. Can anyone guess how I'll probably die?
I'm not saying I could beat one up. I'm saying if I was in the woods and saw a bear, if there was a big enough tree, I could play ring around the rosey with it and bore it to death and escape when it walks away. I've thought this for at least the last 10 years but have gotten vocal about it with friends and especially the Niff. Every time she says I would be dead in a minute flat. I think not.
No sooner do I tell my boss this does he get an email that has the same scenario I am talking about…with pictures. Awesome level = 10000000000.
The email (with pics) is below:
Would you like to make a little extra money? Position Open: Surveyor Salary: $500.00 per hour (tax-free). Qualifications: Must be fast on your feet, and have substantial endurance.
The last pic is bad-ass. Shows the bear getting low and trying to turn the corner on him. If he's smart, he keeps running around it and grabs what looks like surveyor equipment or a tripod and use that as a weapon if needed.
Or he could keep circling. That's what I would do.
And in the famous tone of the Niff "Well, you'd be dead then".
Yesterday marked 7 years since the planes crashed into the World Trade Center buildings. That day and the days following have burned a memory into my brain I'll never forget.
It was so damn quiet. Nothing in the sky. Barely anyone on the streets. You could walk up the street at night and see the glow from the TV at just about every house.
You felt closer to everyone, because we all were going through the same thing.
It's alarming to me how quickly 7 years have passed. I was sleeping when my brother woke me up and told me to turn the news on. We watched a few minutes and saw the 2nd plane hit, live on TV. Talk about surreal.
Life in general changed back then. I remember thinking then nothing would be the same. September 10th 2001 we were all living our lives, without fear or anger or hostility and the next day it all changed.
7 years later, I'm working at a new job, only to find out my boss's cousin was on Flight 11 out of Boston to L.A. and that his best friend's birthday is September 11th. How effed is that? Brings you back.
