Summer of Dan

Knowing your ABCs

When I was in high school I had a girlfriend I would write one page essays/short stories for. I started with the letter A and went to Z and then started over. I wrote them every lunch study and wrote for my amusement as much as to give to her. When she dumped me she handed me a binder with all of them. I wish I knew where they were.

In any event, I've thought about bringing that back but here. I plan to limit myself to 25 minutes max for all of these posts since that was the length of our half  study during lunch periods. It's mostly a free association thing - I pick the word and immediately write. Maybe with some luck when I go home for turkey in a few days I will be able to dig them out.

Professing more geeky love

Being the tech geek that I am, sometimes little things impress me to no end. 

GMail just debuted a crapload of themes you can trick your email out with and they are kickass. My first email address I got on the web was back in 1993 I believe when Yahoo first appeared on the map and I still have it to this day. It's bogged down my shittons of spam and I've since migrated all my friends and family over to my GMail account but it's still there.

If you don't have GMail or haven't moved off of it, why wait? The transition is quite easily actually: create a GMail email address, email all your peeps from it telling them that after a certain date you'll only check your other account here and there and stick to it. Trust me, it's painless.

The reasons for a switch are plentiful:

1. Way more storage than what other free email services offer and it's always growing
   
2. Google integrates Google Chat into their email so you can chat with fellow GMailers
   
3. The themes they offer are above and beyond anything that Yahoo has
   
4. It's way easier and faster to search for what you want in your GMail account
   
5. GMail Labs is a program that is linked to your email where users can submit features for testing for possible future adoption by GMail. There are some awesome features people have come up with and new ones coming out all the time
   
6. GMail is so awesome you can forward all of your email to another account if you want - for free. Email providers like Yahoo either charge you to do this or don't offer it at all
   
7. Check this out:
   
    
   
   That's right - right in your email they have links to your Google Calendar, Google Docs, Photos, and my personal favorite, the Google Reader which is fantastic for reading RSS feeds and saving you tons of time from actually going to websites.

Sorry I am geeked out by the new changes but GMail really is the way to go. There are millions of more reasons but if you don't like these reasons none of those will impress you much.

Something I was actually born for

The Niff and I are off to a see some friends tonight for a game of Seinfeld's DVD Scene It? which recently came out. I'm ready to dominate. Like she said this morning, we've been cramming for this exam for the last 5 years. I'd be hard pressed to find two individuals that have seen as much Seinfeld as we have. For God's sake, it's the inspiration for the name of my blog.

It's almost unfair really...I mean, they are our friends, but in times of war game you need to break out the whoop-ass stick. Even if they are your friends.

What my cats want for Christmas

I guess I can't really say that I know they'd want this since they are scared to shit of vacuums but I can see Lola hopping on for a ride and in a few months Ray battling her to get on top of it. Maybe its what I want my cats to want for Christmas...

It's only $149 and if I ever install the Kittah-Cam it would be worth every damn penny to see them playing around with it when we're away.

Don't be caught offguard - Zombies are coming

The Niff had a pretty involved nightmare the other night about the Zombie Wars. I've talked about them many times on here and with friends and those that don't believe they are
coming will be among the living dead sooner than they can say "Why didn't I believe Dan??".

Although I am ready for it, I am not ready for it. I need guns and swords and machetes and more canned goods. I need to learn how to sail a boat and get a cabin in the backwoods of some place where I can dig a moat and grow my own food.

52%

Remember: those loved ones that are zombies are no longer your loved ones. Do the right thing and lop off their head.

The Book of Love

Keith Olbermann is the bomb. He's fantastic when paired with Dan Patrick on the radio or on Sunday Night's Football in America, as they were when they were together on SportsCenter back in the day. This just adds to his pimptasticness.

 

Like he said, I would love to hear someone despute what he is bringing up. Take religion out of it, because we don't all follow the same religion or system of beliefs. It's wrong. It's not right on any level. This is about your love for your common man. Prop 8 is the worst piece of legislation to pass in my recent memory, aside from the Patriot Act, where library books being taken out gets you thrown on a list and makes you a person of interest.

I hope someday it's reversed. And by someday I mean sooner rather than later.

Survival of the Fittest...or fastest?

Being comfortable is something everyone enjoys, especially our pets/furry family members.

The other day before work the Niff opened the bedroom window about 8 inches so our littlest kittah Lola could sit on the sill before we went to work. The window wasn't cracked for more than 2 minutes when we both heard an explosion coming from the bedroom, followed by Lola sprinting out of there and looking over her shoulder as she got the fuck out of there.

Now, I've seen animals/cats/dogs get scared by loud noises or something fall quite often and I've never seen that kind of fear in an animals eyes before, much less a pet/animal running away looking over their shoulder. Normally they bolt and don't look back until they know they are safely away. Apparently, it was just that: Lola didn't know if she was safely away...

The Niff went to inspect what the fuck just happened when she walked up to the window and noticed the screen was destroyed...

and then she saw it fly into the air.

A giant fucking bird flew through the screen and was in our bedroom. Of course the Niff freaked out and closed the door, making sure the kittahs were on her side of the door, while I tried to figure out what to do.

I tracked it down to the side of the bed and it hopped/flew into our walk-in closet and hid in there. I got my Under Armour running gloves that were thin enough that I could feel the bird when I go to pick it up but still give me that layer of safety.

The little guy was scared and facing the closet wall so I reached down and picked him up, and this is what the guy looked like:

Obviously, not a pigeon. Not a crow. Not any normal bird. In fact, quite the opposite. But we'll get to that and the why in a bit.

I held him for about 30 minutes out the window so he would know he could fly away. I knew he was hurt so I didn't want to throw him into the air, I could tell he didn't want to go anywhere. He was pretty comfortable and his breathing slowed down to about normal and he chilled out in my hands forever.

After a while he started to close his eyes and just totally relax. He seemed like he just wanted to collect his wits and be off again, but he didn't really have a choice. All of a sudden he started silently retching as if he couldn't breathe. He did it over and over for about 30 seconds and his neck started going limp. He tried to lift his head, but he couldn't. And then his eyes closed and his little heart stopped.

Aside from a few key moments in my life when I learned that people either died or were about to die, it was pretty much the shittiest morning I can remember. Ever. I was hoping he would fly away and I'd have a cool story to tell people but the tragedy offsets any cool factor by a thousand.

I was heartbroken. I felt so bad and wasn't sure if he was gone at first but he was. I put him in a shoebox and brought him to work, where we have some really nice woods out back where I could bring him back to nature.

The natural thing to do at that point was call Fish and Game or the Audobon Society. I hit their website and was referred to a woman the rehabilitates birds to see what she thought. 

FUCKING WORST MISTAKE EVER

The lady proceeded to tell me no fewer than 5 times that I was the cause of death: I gave the little guy a heart attack. I told her she shouldn't say that, that I felt bad anyways but she reiterated it again and again until the conversation was over. Rub some more salt in the wound there lady. Awesome. Yeah, rub it harder. Great. Feels better now, thanks.

Judging from the sharp ass beak and the crazy sharp talons and sheer size of the bird I could tell its a bird of prey. With the help of some bird lovers, a couple think it's an adolescent peregrine falcon and another think it's a hawk. Its hard to tell because at the size and age the colorings aren't full yet so it can be even harder. Don't get me started on the bird expert lady who said I was a murderer, she gave me at least a dozen answers and had no fucking clue whatsoever.

Thinking back, with all the information I have, what happened is quite simple: the bird was in the air near where we live, saw a yummy plump little kittah moving in the window and swooped in, feet first. This is why the screen exploded. Because the Niff didn't open the window all the way, the little guy hit his head on the window when he came in, which ultimately led to his death but saved Lola in the end from being breakfast. At the same time, with Lola taking off for her dear life, looking over her shoulder tells me she knew she was about to be fucked up if the bird caught her, hence her behavior.

One thing that made me proud about it all was when Lola was running out of the bedroom, Ray knew something was up and ran in. He tends to be one of the biggest scaredy cats in the world, but he knew she was in trouble and was looking out for her. What a guy.

I've been in a semi-funk about it since it happened and am still weary whenever the window is open and we aren't around. What are the odds, right? That's what I tell myself...but...if it can happen once...

What it is like to be proud again

Last night, some of us took part in history. Today, we are all a part of history.

You don't need to like him, but he is our President-Elect. Not mine. Ours.

As I watched McCain give the most gracious of concession speeches I couldn't help but wonder why his supporters booed every time McCain mentioned Obama. When I saw that all I could think of is when Obama mentions McCain no one would boo, and what happened? Exactly that. Nothing, in fact, some people cheered and applauded for the race that McCain ran.

Obama is a regular guy in many respects, he has a tough job on his hands to lead the country through all the various issues we're going through right now. But I can see he being everything those who voted for him thought he would be. 

I am proud to be an American again. For a long time I was ashamed of the way other countries looked at us, because of our Cowboy-esque President, for our holier-than-thou approach, for not being that land of opportunity. Change we can believe in isn't just a tagline, it's a fact. This country needed change and I'm thrilled to be a part of it.

Shady happenings on Election Night

In a very, very, very non-funny way, the Youtube clip I posted with Homer trying to vote for Obama but the machine only allowed him to vote for McCain is sadly, and very scarily, true in some instances, as are the provisional ballots I posted about as well.

The article is here but here the key snippets that really bother me:

• Some voters in Georgia said they were turned away when informed somebody using their names had already cast ballots in early voting.

• Democrats in several states -- including the key state of Missouri -- received bogus text messages or e-mails Wednesday urging them to put off voting until Wednesday because of long lines.

• In St. Louis, Missouri, Lisa Foreman said she went to vote in her precinct where improperly calibrated machines would only select Republican John McCain for president. She said workers there were trying to fix the problem.

• In Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Regina Hollis said she ran into problems with her voter registration, even though she's lived at the same address for the past five years.

  "Today I go to vote, my name is not in the book and I had to fill out a provisional ballot," Hollis.

• Even the rich and famous ran into problems. When Academy Award-winning actor Tim Robbins showed up at his West 14th Street YMCA polling center in Manhattan, he was informed that his name was missing from the register.

  "I went to vote where I normally vote and I was not listed. I asked for an explanation; they had none," Robbins told CNN.
  
  

  He said he has been voting in the same district since 1992; hasn't missed a single election; and hasn't changed addresses or political affiliations. "The poll worker said my name was in the book for the primary two months ago, but missing for the general election," he said.

  Robbins rejected an offer to fill out a provisional ballot. It took the actor a total of five hours -- and a judge's order -- to finally vote. "I'm just waiting for an explanation," he said. "I want a real explanation, and I want that explanation for the hundreds and thousands of people in my district and throughout the city who are experiencing the same thing today."

• Meanwhile, voters in the battleground states of Ohio and Pennsylvania reported problems signing into the polls in Tuesday's general election, with Ohio officials acknowledging that some voters in the Cincinnati area were mistakenly issued provisional ballots because of confusion about a state voter ID law.

  "They [poll workers] are nervous, so they have them vote by provisional ballot," said Hamilton County Board of Elections Director Sally Krisel. She explained that her office had undertaken an outreach effort Tuesday morning to remind poll workers of the rules governing provisional ballots. 

  Ohio voter Rachel Near told CNN's Voter Hotline that she was issued a provisional ballot when she tried to vote in Columbus, Ohio.
  
  

  "I know that provisional ballots are counted still, but it's really annoying to not have the poll workers informed about what kind of ID they are supposed to accept," Near said.

  "I would think that at this point in time -- considering the magnitude of this election -- they would be aware of that.

It's really sad, sickening, and enraging that this shit can happen. I'll post some pics I took from my voting booth later on and quite honestly, it's the only way we should vote: using a pencil and filling in the fucking bubble. No hanging chads, no machines that malfunction, none of this bullshit. At the end of the process, you slip your ballot into a machine that reads it and counts it, but it keeps the paper locked inside. Prior to all numbers being reported they should verify the counts are accurate and go from there. Plain and simple.

I can't say I'm surprised. This wouldn't be the first time shady shit has happened during a big election. Sadly it won't be the last, unless they streamline the process. Until then, we all could be victims of some of this crap.

Barack the Vote

I don't think it's just a slogan, I think it's about the change our country needs. I think Washington isn't working right now and a new direction is needed. I'm excited to cast my vote today. I only wish Obama's grandmother, who passed away last night, could have lived long enough to see her grandson become President of the United States.

The only thing I worry about is shady things like hanging chads, people jamming phone lines to prevent people from calling their local party's lines to find out where to vote, and any other nonsense. 

Don't accept a provisional ballot if you are offered one. A provisional ballot is the following:

A provisional ballot is used to record a vote when there is some question in regards to a given voter's eligibility. A provisional ballot would be cast when:

• The voter refuses to show a photo ID (in regions that require one)
• The voter's name does not appear on the electoral roll for the given precinct.
• The voter's registration contains inaccurate or out-dated information such as the wrong address or a misspelled name.
• The voter's ballot has already been recorded

Whether a provisional ballot is counted is contingent upon the verification of that voter's eligibility.
A guarantee that a voter could cast a provisional ballot if he or she believes that they are entitled to vote was one of the guarantees of the Help America Vote Act of 2002.

At their best, provisional ballots provide voters who would otherwise be turned away from the polls to have their vote counted, but at their worst, the offer of a provisional ballot can be "a way to brush off troublesome voters by letting them think they have voted."^[4]

In the 2004 US Presidential Election, controversy arose out of arguments regarding the interpretation of the criteria for determining the eligibility of voters using provisional ballots. Many allege that these discrepancies of interpretations, particularly in Ohio, may have been a deciding factor in the outcome of the election. In the 2004 election, at least 1.9 million provisional ballots were cast, and 676,000 were never counted due to various states' rules on counting provisional ballots.^[5]

Studies of the use of provisional ballots in the 2006 general election in the United States show that around 21% of provisional ballots were rejected, where the majority of rejected ballots were cast by registered voters and the majority of rejections were for reasons that were preventable.^[6]

The Voting Rights Project of the ACLU is dedicated to providing citizens with information and assistance in exercising their right to vote! We are urging citizens to ACT this election year. For more information or to voice a voting rights complaint, call 1-877-523-2792.

Also make sure to call 1-877-GOCNN-08 to record any issues you have.

Don't let anyone take away your right to vote.