Apologies are a weird thing. People say they are sorry all the time, even when they don't mean it. I've never been that way, if I truly feel as if I did something wrong I'll apologize, but if I don't I see no need in it.
It's funny - when you grow up you quickly grow accustomed to saying "I'm sorry" and never taking the time to think about what you are saying. Most of the times you are just saying it because you think its what needs to be said. Maybe so. As you grow older though it has more meaning.
There are very few things in my life I am sorry for. I'm proud of the person I am, I'm proud of the person I've become because of the way I was raised. We've all done things we regret later in life but atoning for those sins is sometimes something we live with and strive for or shrug off. It depends on the person.
If I had to point out my number one weakness throughout my entire life it's been that I am always too forgiving to people, even when they haven't earned that right. I've changed over the last year or so. I'm not a bitter person, I don't hold grudges, I just realize there is so little time here that I can't worry about people that just say "I'm sorry" the way they were taught when they were a kid. It's hollow. It means nothing.
There are some private things I am sorry for doing in my life, and some not so private things. I wake up every day and know I am a good person and for that I won't apologize.
I'm sorry I didn't speak more German with my Oma before she passed away.
I'm sorry I don't see my Nana and Papa as much as I could/should when they are up here.
I'm sorry I couldn't take Sargeant with me when I moved out.
I'm sorry I don't work with my friends anymore, but not sorry for taking the job I love so much.
I'm sorry I have a semi-collection/hoarding problem.
I'm sorry I am sometimes quick to anger.
I'm sorry that I feel like I don't have enough time in this life to do what I want.
The past is never far, the future is right around the corner.
Life is more than who we are. Right?
