Dear guy at the gym that always wears a plain white t-shirt and huge ass ugly glasses,
I hate you. I will list the reasons why I hate you so damn much below. Please stop coming to the gym until you can remedy these.
- Stop bringin a magazine to the gym every fucking day. You know why? Because you read the entire fucking thing. Whether you are on the treadmill going .5 miles an hour or "lifting" and sitting on the machine you are at for 40 minutes while other people wait. It's rude and fucking stupid. It's not a library, it's a goddamn gym. Use it for what it is.
- When you ditch the magazine you might want to think about wearing another kind of shirt because you know, when you perspire you can see right through the shirt. Not that you would know that because the most sweat you work up is flipping those pages.
- Cut your fucking hair. You look like you idolize Brandon Walsh or Dylan McKay for Christs sake. That was cool about 15 years ago assmonkey. It's not cool if you are flipping your hair to the side every 10 seconds. It just adds to your douchebaggery.
- Along the same vein of coming into this decade, get some new rims on your glasses. You look like that Old Navy lady that died a few years ago. Fucking terrible. They make me want to kick the shit out of you even more.
I don't think that's a lot to ask. You go to the gym, workout, maybe strike up a short conversation with someone and get the hell out of there. It's not fucking Panera or Borders. People want to get in and out of there and when it's packed and you are taking up a treadmill someone really wants to use or sitting on a bench with no weight on the bar people get a little testy. Time is valuable so don't waste ours.