Such a beautiful disaster

The Niff and I had to go to Wal-Mart yesterday. Sadly, there was no other place we could think of to buy what we needed. It's always a visual car accident when you walk in there: massively obese people that haven't showered in 6 weeks wearing clothes they have no business wearing and a steady stream of children they can't control and likely can't even afford.

Now, I don't have a holier than thou attitude about looks - far from it. But there are just a few things you shouldn't do when you are in public.

1. Dress like you just got back from Woodstock, stains included.
2. Scream or swear at your children like a drunken sailor.
3. Leave your house without checking a fucking mirror.
4. Wear crocs. Ever. Even not in public. 
5. Wear clothing that is 3 sizes too small. I'm sorry, but if you are 300+ lbs, I don't think you really fit into anything that is Extra Large. I'm just guessing here.

Yesterday was all of that but on crack. I seriously felt like I was the best looking person there, that is how awful it was. People missing teeth, people with ketchup on their shirts that are already stained from God knows what, people wearing crocs that look like they trudged through 3 miles of septic sewage in them, people that had so many fucking kids they couldn't find them all. It is the whitest of white trash you can imagine.

Next time I have to go in I am going in with a video camera. I swear.