Summer of Dan

Awesome Random Picture Friday - Part XXX

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




 

 

 

 

 

 

3 nights before Thanksgiving and all through the house

There are 3 days of the year I am always excited for: my birthday, Christmas morning, and Thanksgiving. It's pretty easy to figure out why I love these days so much – cake and presents, food and presents, and football and food.

But Thanksgiving is an extra special day. I proposed to the Niff 3 years ago this Thanksgiving after her first road race ever. Thanksgiving has the 4 F's: food, family, friends, and football. 15 years in a row we've played football on Thanksgiving. No pads, no matter the weather, no matter the numbers. We've had 6 people show up. We've had 40. We've played in a blizzard and in 60 degree weather. The only true constants are yours truly and my football. Before that first game in 1994 I saved up $75 and bought my first real genuine leather NFL football. We may not use it every year but it's there.

It's more than tradition, it's a game everyone remembers for the entire year until we get to play again. Guys come back home from all over and are psyched to meet up and see each other once a year and get a few bumps and bruises to display at dinner. Bragging rights are a small part of it, but everyone always remembers what side they were on the previous game: a loser or a winner. It's as simple as that. People might not remember the numbers that went along with the game but we always remember if we lost or won and what the weather was like.

Don't get me wrong: I live for Thanksgiving dinner with my family – jägerschnitzel and German potato dumplings, turkey and gravy, mashed potatoes and as much cranberry sauce as I can stuff in my belly. The company is as good as the food.

But the Turkey Day game is what I dream of. It's what keeps me awake days before the game. It's like Christmas a month early.

Merry Thanksgiving to me.

Awesome Random Picture Friday - Part XXIX

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome to Shit Talker USA

I have thought about writing this specific post for over a year now but never had the push to really write it out until just recently. The events surrounding the Patriots loss this past sunday to the Colts were just the final straw.

People are different. People like different music, sports teams, foods, movie genres, books, even different seasons. There are a million things that make us who we are. Sports is one of those truly defining nuggets of life that for many of us owe a chunk of their identity to.

I'm going to start by saying I'm a diehard Red Sox fan. If you're a Yankees fan, that's fine, I love rooting against you and your team whenever I can, because it's a rivalry that was created forever ago. It's a historical rivalry.

I'm a Boston sports fan - not just because I live in the general vicinity, not just because I grew up 10 minutes south of Boston, and not because I'm a New England person. But because these are the teams I grew up watching and loving and grew attached to. If you grew up living in Boston and loved the Dodgers, that's awesome. I'm totally cool with people pledging their undying fanhood to teams they never had a real connection with. I'm a huge college football fan that loves watching Michigan, Florida State, Notre Dame, Boston College, Texas, and Florida. I didn't go to any of these schools but something about them struck me. I'll always hate the U, I'll always smile when USC loses, I'll always be happy to see Pitt have a terrible season.

And I get fans that are all about their team. I run fantasy leagues that are made up primarily of Sox fans but we always invite some of our buddies that are Yankees fans to join in. It makes for interesting trash talk and a fun season.

Back to the Pats/Colts game - I'm fine with Colts fans laughing it up that the Pats had the balls to do what most wouldn't and try to end the game by converting on 4th and 2 on their own 28. I'm fine with the analysts jumping all over them about "throwing the game away".

What I'm not fine with is all the other people that relish in it - everyone knows these people: the ones that are fans of some team that isn't playing your team but when your team loses people make a point to throw it in your face. People that "aren't Yankees fans or Sox fans" but when they play and the Sox lose they make a point to bring it up 100 times. The people that "don't really watch sports, but they hate Boston teams". 

When the Astros play the Rockies and they lose, I don't find the nearest Astros fan to throw it in his face.

When the Giants lose to the Jets, I don't seek out my buddies that are Giants fans and shit all over them.

When the Pacers are down by 2 with 5 seconds left and go for the win with a 3 that rims in and out and lose to the Spurs, I don't call up my buddy and tell him how much of a loser his team is and how bad they suck. 

Why? Because I'm not an attention whore. It's as simple as that. I don't give a fuck what your team is doing unless it's playing mine (Sox/Yanks is a different story, everyone knows that). I hate the term "haters" because you hear it too often but it's true. The people that act like that are spewing verbal diarrhea that isn't worth listening to. It's sad but I see more and more of this as New England teams keep winning: Celtics won their 17th championship two seasons ago, the Patriots are a dynasty and won 3 out of 4 in the last decade, and the Sox swept both World Series they won in 2004 and 2007. Winning breeds jealousy and hatred but that's a pretty weak excuse to act like a shithead.

Look, trash talk will always have a time and place in sports. But that's not trash talking, it's straight up shit talking. Trash talking is when your favorite team matches up against mine and we talk shit. When either team involved is a team that you like you are a shit talker. No one likes a shit talker. People need to remember that.

 

 

Awesome Random Picture Friday - Part XXVIII

 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 
 

 

Awesome Random Picture Friday - Part XXVII

 
 

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 
 

 

  

A peculiar generation

While surfing the interwebs I happened upon a list of things that were dubbed the 'Truths of Our Generation'. I didn't add to it at all, but clipped out a few I thought didn't suit me. Some of these are fucking hilarious. Enjoy.

1. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
4. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
5. That’s enough, Nickelback (Creed and Staind, too).
6. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
7. Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
8. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
10. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it. I think I was the most shocked when I figured out how many references to sex and drugs there were in Clueless.
11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.Zoolander and anything with Will Ferrell I always do this, but preface to my roommate before the dvd goes in that she can’t complain about it.
12. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
13. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
14. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
15. Was learning cursive really necessary?
16. Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
18. My brother’s Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, “Cuz we beat you, and you hate us.” Classy, bro.
19. Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
20. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
21. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
22. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”.  I’ve actually contemplated writing out the examples for my last name (which is really long and involves lots of m’s and n’s) because I constantly have to spell it to give my e-mail address at work.
23. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
24. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
25. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
26. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
27. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
28. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
29. I would like to officially coin the phrase ‘catching the swine flu’ to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: “Dave caught the swine flu last night.”
30. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
31. Bad decisions make good stories.
32. Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do.
33. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
34. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
35. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
36. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
37. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
38. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
39. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
40. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.
41. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’
42. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
43. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
44. When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
45. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
46. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…
47. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
48. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
49. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
50. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
51. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.
52. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…
53. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?
54. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
55. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
56. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
57. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.