Summer of Dan

I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE HOBBIT

I have probably 10-20 friends of mine that are going to the midnight premiere of The Hobbit in a couple months. Many are hardcore Lord of the Rings fans, but most of them just are coming to witness something equally spectacular…my buddy Flack wearing this: 

You see, last January in fantasy football playoffs, I made a bet with Flack that I would beat him in our playoff game and the stakes were quite simple - loser takes the other to a movie of his choice and he wears the shirt of the winner’s choice.

It took a long time to find the right shirt. I’m not the type of person that settles. I wanted to originally make it for The Dark Knight Rises premiere but alas, I never found the right shirt.

Until the Deerfield Fair a few weeks ago.

It’s 2 sizes too big, and originally I wanted a shirt that was a size too small to make it pop but this just sung to me in ways I’ve never been sung to before.

It will be glorious. There will be pictures. And video. And many, many updates.

It will be SPECTACULAR.

And I have no doubts that movie will be as well. 

Serenity now, serenity later

Every once in a while I find pictures to go with words. On ocassion.

• Sometimes the buildings and shapes in Concord are just strikingly awesome. Old school meets new school, brick meets glass. One of my favorite things about where I live.
  
  
  
  
• One thing is for certain - the NBA Draft is the 2nd best draft behind the NFL by default. MLB doesn't televise it and 90% of the players drafted in the NHL played overseas, you have no idea who the hell they are, and/or they will have their names butchered 100 times a game. NFL 1, NBA 0.
  
  
• I totally fucked up not getting this badass pizza cutter at Newbury Comics the other day. Sometimes I make terrible choices in life. This is one of those moments.
  
   
  
  
• Game of Thrones is probably one of the best shows on TV. The only way they could pull it off is having it on HBO. Well worth getting HBO for just that but Entourage, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Boardwalk Empire, and True Blood make it a complete no brainer. 
  
  
• Last weekend Jessie and I hit the drive-in with my buddy Flack and his wife Nicki. So awesome. Biggest highlights of the night were the odd UFO thing we all saw changing colors and turning on it's cloaking device and the old school introduction. I can't decide which one was cooler...
  
   
  
  Ok, neither. Laying down with Flack's foot up my ass was the highlight of the evening.
• I find this Pottermore concept J.K. Rowling has drummed up slightly amusing. She always said she didn't want to have her books in e-reader format, because they "were meant to be read". I said before I found it odd she would say that and allow them to become movies...
  
  Anyway, it's funny because she can do what she wants with her site, she will be the conduit to getting all the Harry Potter books in e-reader format. She can set the price. She can control everything. She seemed a bit smug in it.
  
  Hasn't she heard of torrents and newsgroups? For someone that has such a loyal following does she think that someone out there wouldn't scan every single page of every book she's written? That maybe they've already been in e-reader format for over a year now?
  
  Huh. Funny...
  
  
  
• Serene. The only word to describe my Nana's house on the lake. Amazingly peaceful. Slice of heaven in a little town in New Hampshire.
  
  
• Back to shows - Dexter is the best show on TV right now. No debate. 5 seasons. 5 amazing fucking seasons. Every season somehow gets better than the last. Always.

I'm not going to lie, I'm loving the sudden dip in temperature in New Hampshire. I can live with 60s ;)

 

 

You're my boy, Sig!!!

Deadliest Catch is pretty crazy this season, but personally I'm not too happy we've seen the Northwestern for all of 10 total minutes the whole time and yet they have waaaaaaaay more crab than all the other boats. The Time Bandit has spent almost no time on the show either. 

Pretty weak if you ask me: clearly Discovery is trying to pimp out the newer boats to the fanbase either as a backlash because of their dispute.

These are the things that keep me up at night.

Oh, and the scary guy in Flack's closet. I worry for him. I do. I mean, can you imagine a guy looking like Darth Maul living in your closet. Jeeeeesh.

Time Won't Let Me Go

Football practice is in full swing, spring has barely made an appearance, and so far so good in the world of Boston sports - Sox are back on track, Celtics swept the Knicks, the Bruins can finish off the Habs tonight, and the NFL lockout has been lifted. What more could you ask for?

 

• Ok, maybe you could ask for these:
  
  
  
  No, seriously. If you ever go to Boston, you have to go to Mike's Pastry and ask for at least two cannolis. Why? Because you'll punch yourself in the face later on when you realize you wolfed down the first and regret not ordering a second and you'll question every life decision up until that point and won't be able to move on from it and it will paralyze you and your decision making until you can get back there and make amends.
  
  Seriously.
  
  
  
• I have a thing for pockets. Cargo pants, jackets with a million of them, wallets and bags with hidden pockets. This stems 100% from my father. He is a big pocket guy. He is like MacGyver. He has everything in the world in his 783 pockets. Something to aspire to.
  
  
  
• For the first time since I graduated high school I got to see a good friend of mine. Brendan James is an amazing artist. Amazing. Don't take more word for it. Check out his stuff and promptly buy his CDs.
  
   
  
  Jessie and I saw him at a small show close to our hometown and met up with my old friend Ankur for dinner and the show. Awesome. Simply awesome.
  
  
  
  You could tell Brendan felt comfortable with being back home, among friends and family. I think it made all the difference. It was so good seeing him. This kid is blowing up already, but he is about to just go off. Bank on it.
  
  
  
  And it is totally true about cameras adding 50 lbs., an extra chin and making one shoulder look insanely higher than the other...just not to Brendan.
  
  
  
• Even though I haven't eaten at KFC in over 3 years, every time I drive past it to go to the gym my body quivers. I know, awesome visual, huh? Fat guys should never use the word 'quiver'.
  
  
  
• My second family is my football team. My third family is my XBox Live buddies. I have some friends I've met on XBL and have remained friends and gotten to know over the years away from games. Playing Call of Duty I've met a lot of cool people. Flack's brother is one of them. I could tell he was related to Flack as soon as I saw his gamer icon he created:
  
  
  
  100% fitting for that family. That is Flack on the left and Davey on the right of course.
  
  
  
• I can't think of many things that suck more than when you get to the gym ready to work out and you turn on your iPod and it's dead. And have to listen to the piped in awful music. And the mundane bullshit that spews out of people's mouths, people that if they shut the hell up they could get off the machines they are hogging and out of the gym in 1/3 of the time. Lesson learned. Until I forget to charge my iPod again and I hate myself all over again.
  
  
  
• The NFL Draft is Thursday. Reason #1 I look forward to April every year: having my friends over for some good food, fighting over who we think the Patriots will take and do with their draft picks, and generally eating until we hate ourselves. We live for this.

Laying in wait

I have a friend. He is furry. He is smart. He is super energetic. He is strong. He is awesome.

His name is Statler.

He is a clever little fellow. He is exceptional at hide and go seek. He can hang onto a kong 3 feet off the ground for an inordinate amount of time. He can even read you bedtime stories.

Seemingly, he is invincible. He's fearless. 

But not when it comes to...

Furbies.

Now I have a marked history with Furbies. I, too, have a phobia of them, so much so that I destroyed the ear off of my best friend's mom one and only Furby. 

Side note: do you have any idea how hard it is to find a specific furby? Same color, same everything? Yeah, REALLY hard. Even at the height of their popularity I was worried I would be doing farm work for the rest of my life to make amends for the assault on the furby, no matter how warranted it was.

Now, Statler doesn't just dislike furbies, he gets scared of them. It's his personal kryptonite. We all have something like that. 

But what Statler needs to know is the next time I stay over Statler's place he can't go rummaging into my bag searching for cookies. And he can't eat them all on me. And he has to know that if he goes in there that one of those fluffy little creatures is going to be waiting for him.

And that no one will be able to help him. Especially his dad, because he'll be on Gas Street accomodating up to seven seamen per night. I mean, look at him, doesn't he look like he's ready for Deadliest Catch? Throw this kid on a crab boat now.

Ultimate Trust

I'm a bit of a movie fanatic. I watch a ton of movies, whenever I can. Online, in the theater, hitting RedBox or my beloved Netflix.

You can imagine how big of a deal it would be for me to allow someone to select a movie for me to watch. A movie that is only 3 years younger than I am. A movie that could be really awesome or suck really bad ass.

 
That's right. 99% of the people reading this have no idea what the fuck that movie is. I didn't. But Flack does. And Flack told me to watch it. So I will. Even though it only got 3.5 stars from Netflixers. Then again, those ratings are based on random people's preference. I mean, shit, I rated Legally Blond as a 5 star movie.

The only recourse I have if it sucks ass is burning his house down when he leaves for New York next week.

He better hope I give it two thumbs up or I'm taking a road trip.

A Memory of Lotus Rocks

I tend to take a lot of pictures on my Blackberry and I'm guilty of almost never uploading them or sharing them.

Not today. 

As you can see Ray likes to eat. I figured I would save him some time and just let him eat out of the container. What a great dad I am.

I really missed the shit out of this place this summer. The Niff and I went camping last year and rented this cabin. What a great little getaway. So awesome. I wonder if they are open in the Fall...more importantly, I wonder if I could convince the Niff to stay here in the Fall...

Whenever I would drive through Boston with my family to see my grandparents when I was a kid we would drive past this. For years it wasn't even a banner, it was just a giant shamrock painted onto the side of the building. I am willing to bet it is underneath the banner. This is when I knew I was on my way to New Hampshire.

Earlier this year at what is easily the coldest I have ever been at any sporting event in my short 30 years, James, Flack, Mark and I grabbed a bite before the Sox game down the street. I had to get a picture with Flack and John Locke. I wish I could blow this up poster size.

Boston is historic. Boston is beautiful. Boston is amazing.

Occasionally at work I need to relocate animals/insects/random living creatures. Either they get into the building or they put themselves in grave danger and require my AWT (Animal Whispering Techniques). This was Myrtle the Fertile Turtle. I moved her twice in one day, she was too close to the parking lot. She must have been pissed because the last time I saw her she was back where I moved her from twice digging holes and trying to lay eggs. She wasn't amused with me.

This is quite honestly the most disgusting thing I have ever drank. Yes, even worse than Diet Dr. Pepper's Cherry Chocolate soda. This was taken the day after a movie I saw with Jessie. I took one sip and had her try it. Needless to say the inside of her car was covered in this crap.

This is the side of a gas station up north in Lincoln that is dedicated to aliens. The bathroom is a museum and everything inside is insanely odd. Especially the clerks behind the counter.

This is Rusty. Rusty would be ours in a second if we had a house. DAMMIT.

Every now and then I get to climb up on top of the roof where I work. Such a fantastic view. I wish I could put a lawn chair up there...

Optimus Prime hanging out at Sal's in Hooksett. No big deal.

The tallest mountain in New Hampshire. Home of the craziest weather in the FUCKING WORLD. I'll get to the top of it someday.

I love bringing the Niff back to UConn as often as I can. Their student union is amazing. I just wish they sold replica suits of Jonathan the Huskie.

I picked this up at Goodwill for 10 cents. I would use it a lot more often but the thing holds half a cup of coffee at best. The handle is something kind of awful as well, but the picture is priceless. My tireless search for these people and Lotus Rocks will go on until the day I die.




Lola is quite the balancer. She climbed up our drying racks and was hanging out forever until we noticed her. I think she was just trying to reach The Complete Works of Shakespeare on the top shelf.

This is very common where we live. We live in a nice place, but for some reason I see entire couches in the dumpster, and in this case, what looks like a burned out couch. Totally logical.

The Niff conquering the outdoors in her sick ass snowshoes. Not pictured are the 12 times I fell, including the time I fell into a giant pine tree only to have 4 feet of snow crash down on top of me and not being able to get out without assistance.

Believe it or not but New Hampshire has some seriously good sushi. Take Ichiban for example. Awesome sushi, awful spelling. I think this adds to the authenticity of the food? Nothing like the Love Loll.



My ID badge for our offsite storage facility. Nothing more needs to be said.

Grizzly Adams

When I saw this I couldn't help think of Flack and I at Canobie this summer.

I imagine the scene was flip-flopped: a woman in one car bumping into two giant scary Grizzlies. Although she probably would have been more scared to see me trying to fit in the bumper car than bumping into us...

Waking up is the hardest part

Summer is winding down. At this point I always ask myself if I've been to the beach enough, stayed outside long enough, enjoyed the outdoors as much as I should. The answer is invariably no. Interesting.

• When I hear anything by Creedence Clearwater Revival I always think of my dad. And I get sad. I am lucky enough to have him in my life still. I see him fairly frequently and keep in touch all the time. We do lunch at least every few weeks when our schedules matchup but anything by CCR brings me back to when I was a kid. Growing up my dad always listened to it, as well as Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Allman Brothers, James Taylor. He was always around because of his epilepsy. I have very vivid memories of our first house with him listening to music and writing or reading, and having a shitload of world maps up on the walls and him doing his thing. It's one of my happiest memories I have. So I do get sad. I get sad because I know one day he won't be around anymore and when I hear CCR on the radio I'll get a lump in my throat and need to pull over. He just turned 54 and I've been around for 30 of those 54 years. I am thankful for that.
• Friends don't just help friends out when they need it. Good friends are proactive about helping you. I'm learning a lot thanks to Mark. Great information.
  
  
  
  
• A funny thing happened a few weeks ago - the only pair of glasses I had started getting a bit wobbly on the bridge. They were about 15 months old so I called Lenscrafters to see what they can do. While I was on the phone, they fell apart in my hands. Literally.
  
  
  
  I was pretty shocked that they fell apart like that. They said they were out of warranty by a whopping almost 4 months. I told them I would come in and see them. I saw the manager, explained I've never dropped them and it seems odd they would break there because they are made of titanium. She proceeded to tell me that titanium is a very soft and lightweight metal. I told her I knew how strong it was, my facemask is made up of it, but they shouldn't break. And then she seriously asked me, "Oh, so you wear these when you play football?".
  
  Wait, what? Did you just ask me that? I laughed at her, I told her if facemasks can handle high speed collisions that my glasses shouldn't have fallen apart in my hand. She didn't care. She said she could give me a deal maybe on the frames. I told her I had no interest in spending anything on glasses that were defective. They cost me over $400 and lasted me 15 months. I asked her if she knew a brand new car would die after 15 months would she buy it? Or a computer? Or a brand new TV? She said of course not, but did nothing. I told her I would buy my glasses online and left.
  
  I got my prescription from the eye doctor and my PD from Lenscrafters (Pupilary Distance is how far from the side your pupils are, usually your eyeglass maker has this measurement. They take it when the draw a dot on the lenses to see where the center of your eye is). I went to Zennioptical.com. I filled out all the information and bought 3 different pairs of glasses, all prescription, with shipping including, for under $40. They all fit beautifully, I can change them as desired, and I saved a shitload of money. Best thing I ever did.
• Tomorrow night I get together with the boys for some good old fashioned fantasy drafting. Kraig will most likely have the most questionable moves, Mark will most likely have the most elaborate rating system for his players, Flack will unquestionably sit way too close to me so he can stare longingly into my eyes between picks, and Steve will absolutely try his best not to drink too much, lest he have a bad draft like he did last year.
• We are over halfway through my football season and we are sitting at 5-0. We had our first big test last weekend and passed. We have two more games before THE MOST BITTER RIVARLY IN NEFL HISTORY:
  
  
  
  It's always a good game. Let's just hope we can settle on the spelling of 'rivalry'.
• Just as the weather seemed to be changing into fall like temperatures it spikes back up with this summer-ish humidity always-sweaty-as-hell crap. I want 50s please. Stat.
• Speaking of summer/fall, I've amounted a wee bit of progress towards my conquering all the 4000 footers in New Hampshire. The Niff and I trekked up Mount Major (all 1786 feet of it) to get a little pre-4000 footer work in.
  
  
  
  The wind up top must have been close to 40 mph but felt like 100. Awesome view as always.
  
  The second little part of my insane adventure was I bought a map:
  
  
  
  According to Steve aka Mr. Map this is THE map to have. This doesn't guarantee I won't get lost a few hundred times like in Blair Witch but as long as I don't kick it into a stream I think it will be helpful.
• Samsung is keeping the Tab hush hush, but this time next week we will know more about whether the iPad has some serious competition or not. Running Android 2.2 and supporting Flash, the Tab has a chance to pull some attention and dollars away from the iPad, which in turn could drive down costs for the iPad. I swear to God, if the smallest iPad was $199, every single person would be walking down the street with one.
  
  

I really need to make a special trip to Minado. Stat. All you can eat sushi buffet for the win.

Entering the Pain Cave

I've been a slacker lately and haven't carved out time to write some more meaningful posts about life so that's what I'll attempt to do here.

Turning 30 almost two months ago was a mentally traumatic milestone for me. I have no idea why, but it was almost earth shattering to me. I've never felt that way before, I felt like I had to grow up, but truth be told, I already am. I just don't act grown up.

And I don't want to. 

Yeah, I pay my bills on time, the Niff and I go on mini vacations and do semi-grown up things, but I'm a kid at heart and always will be.

The Niff planned the perfect birthday party for a 15 year old. Or a 30 year old with the mentality of a 15 year old - pizza party, with desserts like cannolis, tiramisu, fudge cake, carrot cake, cream puffs. Everything a fat kid would love. This would all be followed by hitting one of the greatest amusement parks in the history of New England. Or New Hampshire. Or, pretty much, the only amusement park really, unless you count the ones for the little kids up north.

Anyway.

It was perfect. It wasn't crowded, the weather was great, the company was even better. We had a series posse mounted up to attack the park. And attack we did.

   

That was the first ride of the night - the Xtreme Frisbee. You know it's the shit when they leave off the E. Hardcore ride for sure. It's so hardcore it even has it's own webpage. They lock you in, you spin around faster and faster and higher until you want to puke. Everyone is screaming their head off, not because it's scary, but because we are all wondering if we will make it off the ride without losing our lunch. We are screaming so damn loud, I look over across from us and there is this teenage girl ON HER FUCKING CELLPHONE. I lose it, I'm screaming, "I'm about to puke and this chick is updating her Facebook status 'I'm on the Frisbee and I'm going to puke!!! lol'. Most bizarre thing I've ever seen on a ride.

I think she was related to these guys.

 

I think after that we knew we were in for an interesting evening.

Flack and I decided to team up with our superpowers and squeeze into one bumper car to destroy the rest of the bumper car field. We laid some sick hits, but I'm not sure what was more painful, getting hit by us or me having to lift my gunt to get the bar to drop down.

 
 

No ride was safe from us, we decided that early on. We kicked everything up a notch, including seeing how many people could fit in the photo booth.

 
 

We were playing for keeps, I don't think Canobie Lake Park was ready for us that night. We got shitfaced on fried dough and even more fucked up on the Turkish Twist. We were wild and crazy. Yup. Hardcore Canobie Lakers right here.

Probably the highlight of the night was the Log Ride. No one was in line whatsoever, so the Niff, myself, the Niff's step-brother Aaron, and my sister Jessie piled into one log. The splashes were going to be epic, everyone would be soaked, people would be drowning.

Ok, so it was about 2/3's accurate.

Aaron was in the way front, followed by my sister Jessie, then me, then the Niff. Mark and Laura were in the log right behind us. We noticed early on that we started taking on some series water but it's a water ride. It's to be expected. Right?

Following some serious turns, we started slowing down and Mark and Laura were catching up. It wasn't a big deal, we were ahead enough before the grand finale 45 degree hill that takes you to Drenchtown USA that we would be fine.

Until we lodged the log into the final turn. Like, really jammed it in there. To the point of us not moving. And taking on a shitload of water. And Mark and Laura not only caught up, but they wedged us further. And then another log behind them did. And then another.

Many people don't know Aaron, but Aaron is a fucking survivalist. He has lightning reflexes, and is a combination of Mother Theresa, Chuck Norris, and Bear Grylls. Before we knew it, he was out of that fucking log, in the most selfless act I have ever witnessed, and said, "I'm doing this for you guys so you can survive!!! Don't worry about me, save yourselves!!!" and with that, he pushed us free and onto the giant ramp that brings us to the top of Mt. Everest. We saw him run into the trees like a wild animal and proceeded to hang on for dear life. 

Now, when you are on the Log Ride at Canobie, the final hill is so steep, it feels like you are going to roll out the back of the log and die. Or flip. Or slide out and tumble into the trees below. Or onto the barbed wire fence below we could only imagine Aaron was scaling by then.

About 3/4 of the way up, the ride stops. The kid at the top of the tower was yelling at us, they had to find out if our dearly departed passenger was in danger. They had to stop it, he could be laying in front of the log at the bottom and get smashed. Or drenched. Or something.

I'm not one to shy away from adventure. In fact, I'm good friends with the Dos Equis guy. He plays next to me on my football team. For real.

But we were up there for a solid 10 minutes. Mark and Laura were right at the bottom and were being escorted by park employees off the ride. Before we knew it, there were now three people on the wet, metal ladder type stairs that led to the tower at the top, explaining in painful detail how we would exit the ride. From 60 feet up. Soaking wet. Stepping onto wet metal. At a 45 degree angle. No big deal.

Jessie went first, almost took a digger, which was understandable given the circumstances. Then I went and the Niff was right behind me. They walked us the the side, presumably where Aaron made The Great Escape, and there was our posse. Waiting. With Aaron. There was a 2 foot high wooden locked gate. I could have stepped over the damn thing but the person that brought us down had 12,000 keys and had protocol she needed to follow. And we waited. And waited. For like 5 fucking minutes.

After the longest time, we were reunited with our log mate, and we had a picture taken, simulating the final plunge to the bottom since we were so deprived of a normal conclusion to the ride.

 
 

Look at us. LOOK. Fearless. We could do anything. Except ride more rides without being followed by park security for the rest of the night. Which was probably a good thing...

Without a single doubt, going to amusement park rides when you are older is 1000 times better than when you are a kid. Partly because you're an adult living a kid's dream. Partly because of the memories you make. And a big part because you can buy all the food and candy and drinks you want without getting yelled at by your parents because you're going to "get sick" or "won't have room for dinner" or "it's time to go, it's getting late" or "i'm sorry, i don't have anymore money, you ate everything in the park twice already". Or something like that.

Canobie Lake Park will never be the same again.

 
 

Next up: whitewater rafting with the same motley crew. Thank God we have our own personal Bear Grylls.