This is one of those schmoopy posts. Repeat - schmoopy posts. You've been warned.
When I think of Lauren, two amazingly eloquent and just absolute perfect pieces come to mind.
“You should date a girl who reads.
Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”
When I first read of it a while back I knew that was the type of person I would wind up with. It couldn't be more perfect. I thought it was missing just one thing. And then I happened upon this.
"Date a girl who writes. Date a girl who understands both the simplicity and the depth of the written word. Date a girl who lists one of her heroes as a philosopher or poet. Date a girl who writes because she is a born storyteller.
You’ll learn that the only way she knows what she’s thinking or feeling is through writing. She’ll be articulate and poetic, without the slightest ego.
The girl who writes will have a collection of lists at any given time, not only to-do lists, but life lists; a bucket list, a list of her favorite things, a list of quotes that inspire her.
As a writer she will be a natural listener. So tell her stories. You will begin to recognize what’s important to her or what she wonders about through her writing. She finds writing the only way to explore some of life’s greatest mysteries. So talk to her about your thoughts and ideas. She will revel in them.
With this, she will love to read. She is inspired, enlightened and learned by literature. Read her book suggestions and talk about them with her. She feels satisfied and connected when someone enjoys the same literature as her. Read together.
Date the girl whose voice is so moving that you can hear it in her written words. Spend quality time with her to the point where you almost, but not fully, understand her love for words. She will explain it to you: “I love the twist and tangle of words as they enflame human emotions.” Respect her passion. She will write for a living because she will not know how to make a living sans writing. She believes in passion and when she discovers it within you, she will forever believe in you.
The girl who writes will possess a perspective all her own. As a writer she continually explores her own mind, heart and soul—because of this she is self-aware and introspective. She will have spent time and need more time spent in other worlds—metaphorically and physically. Take her on adventures. Her writing will speak to universal truths…show her the world.
Date a girl who writes because the infinite abilities of her vast mind will astonish you day after day. The way she thinks about the world—as if a short trip to the grocery store has the potential to hold as much meaning as a backpacking trip across Asia—is unparalleled. Learn from her. Realize that the simplest tasks—and words—can, and often do, hold the deepest meaning.
By dating a girl who writes you will discover that there are no goodbyes. She will write about you and she will write to you. Her handwritten letters will captivate you and scare you all in one breath. Be happy that she knows how to tell you what she’s feeling and thinking with precision and grace—that is a luxury in most relationships.
Don’t get frustrated with her when she desires to write about everything that happens between you two—it relaxes her. You may feel like you’re losing her to her writing but you must understand that she writes what she knows, encased in imagination. So be thankful when you identify with a character she has created. You are the chief inspiration in her life—and she will always be drawn back to you. She is independent in her mind yet recognizes the necessity and beauty of experience and relationships.
Date a girl who writes because she understands and appreciates her own worth so fully that she can confidently write about why you should date her.
When you are ready, propose to her in a way that challenges her writing. Give her a moment to write about that can only be shown, rather than told, through words. Let her know how you feel in the best arrangement of words you can conjure up. She will be thrilled by your valiant efforts to connect with her.
For your wedding, the girl who writes will carefully craft her own vows. They will leave you speechless—managing to capsulate your time together thus far into a tightly woven tale of two strangers becoming one.
Marry the girl who writes because she understands that one doesn’t succeed at writing—it is a continual, ever-evolving, growing craft of experience and practice…just like your marriage. And when you’re ready to have children, they will benefit from her gift of writing. They will be well educated (if not for good genes) on the proper usage of grammar and literary devices.
Marry a girl who writes and she’ll teach your children the value of words—the most powerful weapon used by mankind. She will instill in them the same passion that she was born with and that you have come to know as second nature…because with the combined passions of your family, you have the power to change the world.
Before she speaks, her mind inscribes her thoughts into words—lying in the empty space between her eyes and the atmosphere. So know that if you argue—which you will—she’ll be able to keep things sensible, calm and mature. She will read her own works so many times that she will look to you for reassurance of sanity. Reassure her.
The girl who writes knows that the power of the written word can transcend time and space. This is why she will keep a journal of your lives together. And when you are old and gray she will present it to your grandchildren as a way to inspire, encourage and challenge them to live a life so spectacular that it, too, must be documented.
Find a girl who writes because you deserve someone who will motivate you and humble you each and every day. You deserve to learn from the teachings of your own great writer that eloquent words are essential to human life. If her mind bursts into flames with an idea at 3 a.m. on a Saturday morning, let her write…because chances are, you lit the spark. And for her, the only thing that will be better than writing about the love you share is living the love you share."
As someone that is always consuming as many books as humanly possible, I've met my match. Voracious readers always have something to talk about. They always have a different way of seeing things. Maybe it's all the characters they come into contact with on their literary adventures, maybe it's the different voices of the authors that breathe life into them. Whatever it is, I have a great love and appreciation for those who read and write, especially those who have a great appetite for both.
And if there is one thing I love most about Lauren it is her appetite.